The 5 Steps to Achieve that Flawless Business Look

As a skiing derelict, I often peruse the internet in search of stoke.  That's a fancy way of saying I sit on Newschoolers browsing forums for an opportunity to troll some kid into thinking Full Tilts are the greatest boots in the world, and he definitely doesn't need to go to a boot fitter.  The reason I am talking about this is because I came across quite an entertaining article in regards to consumer perception.  The infamous toast of Newschoolers had written out the perceived notion of ski companies (Lol savage toast).  Now since I do not expect all of you to understand what these ski companies perceptions on the market are so here is a break down, it would be like saying Apple's slogan is "Overrated & Overpriced."


This brought up the idea of perception, and what it is that we perceive when we consider a brand.  Seth Godin defined a brand as the expectations, memories, stories, and relationships.  Humans as a whole are judgmental, critical, and unforgiving individuals.  Yes it is a cynical view but you know it is right.  So when it comes to brands, it should be important to be perceived as faultless, right? Is that even possible? To be a faultless brand, is to be perfection.  So how would one achieve having a faultless brand?

1.  Every product works perfectly.
To ensure true brand faultlessness, every product or service would have to be carried out to utmost perfection.  Virtually impossible, or is it?  To ensure every product works properly there would have to be no flaws in the production or materials.  Even for the actual use of the product it would have to be used for intended purpose in intended conditions.  All variables that are totally controllable.

2.  100% positive word of mouth.
Word of mouth is huge when it comes to altering the mind of a consumer.  Who else but friends and family do we listen to more.  So to achieve this level of perfection each and every spoken word of your brand would need to be positive.  Again a totally attainable goal.

3.  Totally fresh brand launch.
Now this is a rule only applicable to brands that already exist.  If you do already exist in this realm, then you must rebrand as something completely new or rewrite the memories of people on Earth that had experienced your brand.  This is to achieve that true faultless feature, it's the hottest trend of 2k34.

4.  New business relationships.
To get the look of faultlessness, you must develop all new business relationships.  What if Carol from HR at your accountants office had a bad experience with Larry from the mail room at your company? No clue what happened there, but thats a single person finding fault in your company so Carol's gotta go.

5.  New employees.
As mentioned above in step 4, no bad experiences can be held in regards to your brand.  So yes, that one time you had to fire Jeremy in R&D for him experimenting products on freshly cocooned butterflies, and now he has a picture of you on his prison calendar and he is waiting to get out just for you.  So yeah just new employees, again totally achievable.

That's the five step process to becoming a totally faultless brand.  It was at this point the reader realized I was insane. If you are continuing to read, you are probably at the Waffle House. But, none of this is achievable, so the real point behind this has been that as a brand a company must recognize their perceived consumer ideas, and attempt to alter these perceptions.  It is like accepting your faults and trying to build upon them, except only in the corporate world and your whole livelihood can be determined by it.  Good luck!